Ed the Man
Jo the Woman
Tom, a slightly drunk Stranger
A Waiter
(She is sitting by herself. A Stranger enters from the side and sits at the counter diagonal from her. He is looking at her. Checking her out. She is looking straight ahead passively attempting to avoid a conversation. He looks long and hard, long enough she finally gives him a quick neutral nod. He starts in)
S - It sure is late.
(She smiles politely. He takes out a cigarette, he can't find his lighter. Makes a show of searching through all his pockets, hoping she'll offer him a match. We see he has a little drunk on, not slurring his speech quite yet, but a sip of cough syrup might be all it would take and he could slide into slop.)
S- You wouldn't have a light?
(She shakes her head no)
S -Do you smoke?
W – (A bit stern) No.
(Stranger looks at the Waiter, waiter shrugs)
S - I never seen you here before.
(She lets out a deep sigh. Outside we see her some time beau ED walking along the far side of the street watching. He crosses the street and stands at JO’s back behind the glass, looking at them watching, waiting...he is aware of them, they are not aware of him. He watches the gentleman watching her.)
S - You been here before? I'm here all the time. I'm a regular. (to the waiter) Aint that right? (Waiter nods)
W - I'm not usually here this late
S - Seems nobody is ever here this late. (beat) You probably got the lunch menu memorized I'll bet. Well, they serve stuff completely different this hour. Smaller menu this late. Meager. (to the Waiter) You give her a menu?
W - I'm not hungry
S - Come on now, it's on me.
W - No thank you.
S - At least let a gentleman, buy you a cup of coffee.
(She points to a nickel on the counter.)
W - Really, no thank you.
(Stranger shrugs not angry but a little dejected.)
S - Well then...well then...I...I....ahhh...you know...it aint a wedding ring...it's just a cup of joe.
(She is about to apologize, but stops herself. She thinks that an apology would probably be taken as an invitation by this guy. And she is probably right. Her Man outside has seen enough and disappears upstage center. Waiter offers to fill her coffee mug. She lets him.)
S - You meeting someone?
(She nods)
S - They late?
(She shrugs)
S -Yeah, they're late.
(He waits for a response. She just looks down into her mug.)
S - You know how I know? (beat) I said you know how I know?
W - No
S - Because you dont look happy.
(She shakes her head.)
S - Me, I'm a happy guy. But, you? Sad...sad girlie
W – It’s not your business.
S - I got a heart, don't I? I see someone unhappy. I got a heart.
W - Please...
S - As big as a...
W - Just please stop
S -a three ring circus. (He pounds his chest.)
(She looks to the Waiter. He apologizes with his body language and goes back to polishing the countertop)
S - Deeper than the deep blue sea.
W - I'd rather you didn't concern yourself
S - Concern myself
W - I'd rather you didn't
S - Concern myself with you? Alright...alright...look I apologize. I don't want to offend you ok? (beat) Ok?!!!
W - OK
S - Because, that aint my way ok?
W - Ok
(pause)
S - I'm not the kind of guy who likes to bother strange women. That aint my modus operandy.
(pause.)
S - But you know, you are a beautiful woman. You got the world on string and you don't even know it I bet.
W - (She has had enough) Look, when my guy gets here. It'd sure make me "happy" if he didnt see you making eyes at me. Alright?
S - Well excuse me to high hell sister. Don't worry. I don't make eyes at strange women.
(A moment passes. Her Man comes in through the back door. They all stop and turn to him. He looks at her. Once the Stranger finishes looking he turns back to his cup, Man walks in looking hard at gentleman until he passes behind her and sits next to Her)
S - Be careful buddy. She's waiting for someone
M - (To her) Who is this?
W - I don't know.
M - Well, maybe we could? (he points, indicates leaving)
W - Where are we going to go? (She indicates her wristwatch)
Waiter - (to Man) Coffee?
(Man nods. Gives the Stranger another glance.)
W - Just ignore him.
S - (Annoyed)What?!
M - (Also Annoyed) What?!
S - What? She is waiting for someone...
M - She's waiting for me.
(Stranger lifts his mug to toast)
S - Bully for you. (He leans and winks at Woman)
(Waiter gives Stranger a look saying "let them be" Stranger drunkly mocks him a little. Waiter puts his hands on his hips like he means it.)
S - Alright! Alright! (to Man) Buddy, ignore me alright? I'm a little (gestures drunk) I don't mean nothing. (Leans to look at W) Lady, I don’t mean nothing. (To Waiter) Look, I'm buttoning it up. (He pretends to button his lip and gestures for more coffee. Waiter puts coffee in front of the Man. Man leans in a for a moment to take in the aroma.)
W – I see you’re back on the coffee wagon
M – Yeah
W – How many is that for today?
M – Two
W – Two cups? Including this one?
M – Two pots
W – Ed?!!! They told you that wasn’t any good for your heart!
M – You can't bust a heart that’s already broken
(She stares at him for a beat, decides that what he said is too corn ball, and plays a little air violin for him. He smiles for a second, and then remembers that he isn’t supposed to be smiling. He reaches over and starts pouring sugar into his coffee, a lot of sugar. She watches him in an off put manner. He pours in cream up to the rim. He then tastes it carefully drinks down a half inch and pours in more cream. He then pushes the sugar toward her.)
W - I don’t use sugar
M - Oh
W - You know that
M – You right, I knew that.
W - If you know that I don’t use it, why even offer it to me?
M - Are we really going to have an argument about the sugar?!
W - I don’t want to argue at all
M – Me neither
(pause.)
M - Where are you staying
W - At a friend’s
M – Who with?
W - Mary
M - I should have figured
W - What does that mean
M - Nothing. I didn’t mean it the way it came out.
(The Waiter refills her water. He then goes back to cleaning the far countertop)
M -I miss you (beat, he waits) I said, I miss you
W - I hear you
M – Don’t you miss me?
W – (beat) I think…
(He stiffens, she notices)
W - Let me finish
M - Alright
W - I think so, sometimes.
M - Sometimes (he has a small unsatisfied chuckle in the back of throat. Pause, he tries to make peace with it) Tell me about … sometimes
W - When I see a couple, on the street or on the train.
M - UhHmm
W - Holding hands
(He puts his hand on the counter for her. He wiggles his fingers for her. She hesitates but then she touches her hand to his. He smiles.)
W - What about you?
M -I miss it all the time
W - No, no that's not good enough. You got be more specific
(pause.)
M – You know how when we started out, how I couldn’t stand the cuddling?
(She lets out a loud short laugh before she can catch herself. He stares straight ahead frustrated)
W - I'm sorry.
M - Nah
W - I shouldn't have done that. Go ahead.
M - Now that I cant have it...
W – (a little baby talk teasing voice) You want to cuddle?
M - Don't laugh
W - I'm not laughing
M - You are
W - No, this is smiling.
(pause. She pulls away a bit. Her hesitation about them returns.)
W - We try and try but we keep falling back, How? I can’t figure it.
M - I thought...I thought that you…
W - What?
M - Preferred the company of others
W - To you?
(He nods)
M - I thought you were not interested in spending time with me anymore
W - What gave you that idea?
M - You didn't used to need anyone else.
W - I am only with you, I've only ever been with you.
M - I feel like It is always a choice between me and who we fraternize with?
W - But Ed? You don't fraternize with anybody?
M - You can't dictate my friendships.
W - You can't dictate mine either
M - But if those friendships come before me?
W - You hate my friends that much?!
M - Not all of them
(She gives him a icy look. She starts shaking her head.)
W – We can keep each other company, but it seems we can never share anything anymore. (pause, holding back tear) I don't think I can do this.
M – Don’t say that
W – I can't keep putting up with this. I'm too old.
M – No you’re not
W – Yes I am, and so are you. Look (She puts her finger to his forehead) Wrinkles, stress lines, crows feet
M – More like crows boots (She smiles. She doesn't want to but she does. It almost makes her let lose her emotion. They look at each others face. She turns away first. He points to her face) Well look…that’s something we share.
(She hits him in the chest a couple times. He lets her. Her last blow rests on his chest and grabs his lapel. They want to kiss, but they don't)
M – I want you. I want you all to myself. I don’t need anyone else. Isn’t that enough? Can’t you tell me you want me too?
W – You're just lonely. We both are. But what happens in a few days when that loneliness goes away? We're back to square one.
(beat)
M – Come back? Come back with me tonight...(he gets weak) please.
(pause. Quiet…no waiter…no stranger…where did they go?)
W – Alright
M – And stay till morning. It’s not enough unless I can hold you till then
W – (hesitate looking at her fingernails) I’ll try... That is all I can say for now
(pause)
W – Is that enough?
(blackout)
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