Two on the Aisle

TWO ON THE AISLE
Written by Joe Janes

CAST:
Ernst
Thelma
E
T

(Lights up in the house. Ernst gets up from his aisle seat and puts on his long coat. His wife, Thelma, remains seated. Seated off and behind them in the house is T. She sits looking at her program.)



ERNST
There you are. I have now gone to the theater… We should be going.

THELMA
I know. I know.

ERNST
To facilitate the going part, Thelma, you should consider standing and putting on your coat.

THELMA
Just another minute. Please, Ernst. I haven’t seen him in ten years.

ERNST
He doesn’t even know you are here.

THELMA
He knows I’m here. He saw me. I know he saw me.

ERNST
He would have come out by now.

THELMA
In the drawing room scene, when he poured himself a brandy… Just before he called that tarty girl a “swine"... He looked right at me. He might even have winked at me.

ERNST
It’s bad enough I allowed you to drag me here on a Thursday night, we left junior alone with your mother. We need to go home before she loads him up on cookies and coffee so he’ll stay up and keep her company.

THELMA
She said she wouldn’t do that, again.

ERNST
The woman is capable of anything but raising a child properly. She fed you lasagna as baby food.

THELMA
It was pureed.

ERNST
It was lasagna.

THELMA
All right. Let’s go. (She gets up. He helps her with her coat. They head toward the exit. E enters through the curtain from the stage.)

E
Thelma? Is that you?

THELMA
You did see me! I knew you saw me! (She runs up to E and gives him a big hug.) He saw me! You were so good up there. You looked so good in your tuxedo. Where’s your tuxedo?

E
It’s in my dressing room… Can’t wear it all the time.

THELMA
Oh. You saw me. You saw me when you called that woman a swine. And she was a swine! Boy, what a swine!

E
The cast is heading to the bar across the street. Would you like to join us? Give us a chance to catch up.


ERNST
Ahem.

THELMA
Oh, Ernst. This is my husband…Ernst.

E
Ernst…small world.

ERNST
Well, it’s a common name.

E
How do you do?

ERNST
Lovely.

E
Care to join us?

ERNST
Unfortunately, we need to get back home to care for our son, Ernst, Jr.

E
You’re married and have a child?

THELMA (sighs)
Yes.

E
I didn’t know.

ERNST
That’s all right. I never knew you existed until yesterday afternoon when we saw the advert for your play “The Gay Scoundrel.”

THELMA
You made a beautiful scoundrel, Ernst.

E
You think so? I felt off tonight.

THELMA
How long are you in town? Ernst works during the day and Ernst, Jr has school. Maybe we could get together.

ERNST
Perhaps on Saturday, you could come over to the house and meet the whole family.

E
Oh, Saturday’s a bear. We do three shows that day.

THELMA (hugs E)
You saw me. The last time I saw you was when we watched the sun go down at the lake. And then watched it come back up again. (E shrugs towards Ernst)

ERNST
We need to go, Thelma.

E (peeling himself away)
It was nice seeing you, Thelma. I’m glad you are doing well.

THELMA (sighs)
Yes.

E
And it was nice meeting you, Ernst.

ERNST
Yes. It was.

E
Good luck with that boy of yours… I’ll see you, again.

THELMA
I hope it’s not another ten years.

E
I hope not, too.

(Thelma and Ernst leave. E watches them leave and then notices T. Thelma runs back in and plants a kiss on him.)

THELMA
Ernst is getting a taxi. I knew you saw me. I just knew it.

E
I look for you every night, wherever I am.


T
Ahem.

E (peeling Thelma off him)
Ah. Thelma. Let me introduce you to someone. This is my wife…Thelma.

THELMA
Oh. I didn’t know.

T
Now you do. Good-bye.

(Thelma leaves. E walks to T.)

E
Darling!

T
Swine.


(Blackout.)

Girlie Show

GIRLIE SHOW

ART (Speaking)
SAM
HANNAH
SQUAW


(In the dark we hear a live jazz combo. They aren’t terrific, but they can keep a tune. They are playing a version of “Everything Happens to Me” in a slow, suggestive way that is completely opposed to the nature of the song.

A spotlight comes up on a woman dancing in a Burlesque hall. The hall is pretty middle of the road, not a palace, but it’s not seedy. There is the inkling that perhaps it was home to vaudeville in its earlier days. Now the velvet curtains are a touch ratty and the paint is chipping, but there aren’t any rats.

In front of and below the dancer is the combo, as heard before. They play the tune with sort of a weary boredom, with no percussion at first.

SAM, the drummer, sits at his drum kit, his sticks resting on the snare, staring at the high hat. After a minute, one of the other band members hisses at him, SAM blinks and starts keeping time with the song.

They play and the woman continues to dance. She’s not good, worse than the band. She just stands center stage, sort of wiggling her rhythm-less hips with intermittent shoulder shimmies. She is nude with the exception of a g-string, some tassels tied to her arms, and an Indian headdress.

The song comes to a merciful end and the woman bows to a few claps and one or two wolf calls. ART, a red, sweaty, globular man in his mid-forties rushes in from off stage with a microphone)

ART
Give it up for “Little Squaw”, huh? C’mon! You give her a hand!

(The applause increase but not by much. She bows again and offers a little smile. As she passes him to head off stage he slaps her bare bottom with his hand.)

ART
Big Chief Arthur make wampum with “Little Squaw” later (He lets out a high pitched giggle). She’ll do anything for a ride to the liquor store!

(There is no rim shot, just a cough and slow clap from the back of the house. The band looks at SAM. ART glares down. He repeats the last three words of the joke with great emphasis.)

ART
The. Liquor. Store.

(SAM looks up and gives him a rim shot with no finesse whatsoever. BAH. DUM. BAH. TING. ART Scoffs)

ART
Heh. Heh. Ladies and Gentlemen, I guess you can’t get good white help these days, am I right? (Laughs at himself. There are a couple of guffaws from out in the audience. He transitions quickly to keep the show going.) But enough about my wife…let’s bring on some more girls. Let me here it!

(the Audience applauds a little, and there is some muttering complaint.)

ART
Our next girlie is brand new to the Emporium here…brand NEW, I say. She’s the saucy red head from Upstate New York! Let’s give it up for RED HOT HANNAH!

(ART jogs offstage and the spotlight hold for a second, anticipating the dancer’s entrance. The band begins to play Funky Blues or something by Coco Schumann. SAM doesn’t look up as they slur through the music.

HANNAH emerges from off stage and the crowd goes ape, hooting and whistling. HANNAH is a tall robust woman, in her mid-thirties. She stares out over the audience for a beat, wearing a purple g-string and shrouding herself in a sheer purple cloth. Her face is nearly expressionless, with a hint of a knowing gleam in her eye.

The music lurches on and she opens her arms wide, exposing her naked breasts. There is a cheer from the audience as she does this. She strides across the stage. Men call her name and whistle with abandon.

SAM is oblivious to all of this.

Once across the stage she turns and covers herself again, peeking over her shoulder. She sways her hips and notices the band, SAM in particular. He is hard to miss, being the only fellow who doesn’t have his eyes all over her.

SAM plays his drums, missing beats and throwing off the rhythm.

HANNAH marches further across the stage, opening her cover again to reveal her chest. She keeps her eyes glued to SAM, trying to get move into his line of sight. SAM is in his own world, tapping out an unremarkable rhythm.

After a couple of passes, HANNAH is about to give up any hope of capturing his attention, when SAM rears back and lets out a truly graceless sneeze. The jerk of his head sends his gaze her way. Their eyes lock for a second.

SAM’s beat picks up, he turns away, unsure of what has just happened. HANNAH’s eyes remain on him. There is now a glimmer, a change in her countenance. Her moves become softer, less strident.

SAM taps out a few flourishes on his drums, and gives a shy look HANNAH’s way to see if perhaps she has noticed. As his beat becomes more playful, she throws her shoulders back, smiling down at him.

The audiences hollering and whooting has died down.

The song comes to a slow end and the men in the crowd applaud here and there. HANNAH extends a delicate bow, giving the same cold stare as before to the audience, but softening when she reaches SAM’s stare.

He holds his drumstick in his hands, watching her go. A beat. He looks at his drums and then to the exit where she left. SAM’s face clouds with uncertainty.

Lights fade as we hear ART pounding onto the stage.)

ART
Wasn’t that beautiful, fellas! Let’s give it up for RED HOT HANNAH!

(Applause. SAM remains at his drums. Lights fade.)

Nighthawks (2nd draft)

Ed the Man
Jo the Woman
Tom, a slightly drunk Stranger
A Waiter

(She is sitting by herself. A Stranger enters from the side and sits at the counter diagonal from her. He is looking at her. Checking her out. She is looking straight ahead passively attempting to avoid a conversation. He looks long and hard, long enough she finally gives him a quick neutral nod. He starts in)

S - It sure is late.

(She smiles politely. He takes out a cigarette, he can't find his lighter. Makes a show of searching through all his pockets, hoping she'll offer him a match. We see he has a little drunk on, not slurring his speech quite yet, but a sip of cough syrup might be all it would take and he could slide into slop.)

S- You wouldn't have a light?

(She shakes her head no)

S -Do you smoke?

W – (A bit stern) No.

(Stranger looks at the Waiter, waiter shrugs)

S - I never seen you here before.

(She lets out a deep sigh. Outside we see her some time beau ED walking along the far side of the street watching. He crosses the street and stands at JO’s back behind the glass, looking at them watching, waiting...he is aware of them, they are not aware of him. He watches the gentleman watching her.)

S - You been here before? I'm here all the time. I'm a regular. (to the waiter) Aint that right? (Waiter nods)

W - I'm not usually here this late

S - Seems nobody is ever here this late. (beat) You probably got the lunch menu memorized I'll bet. Well, they serve stuff completely different this hour. Smaller menu this late. Meager. (to the Waiter) You give her a menu?

W - I'm not hungry

S - Come on now, it's on me.

W - No thank you.

S - At least let a gentleman, buy you a cup of coffee.

(She points to a nickel on the counter.)

W - Really, no thank you.

(Stranger shrugs not angry but a little dejected.)

S - Well then...well then...I...I....ahhh...you know...it aint a wedding ring...it's just a cup of joe.

(She is about to apologize, but stops herself. She thinks that an apology would probably be taken as an invitation by this guy. And she is probably right. Her Man outside has seen enough and disappears upstage center. Waiter offers to fill her coffee mug. She lets him.)

S - You meeting someone?

(She nods)

S - They late?

(She shrugs)

S -Yeah, they're late.

(He waits for a response. She just looks down into her mug.)

S - You know how I know? (beat) I said you know how I know?

W - No

S - Because you dont look happy.

(She shakes her head.)

S - Me, I'm a happy guy. But, you? Sad...sad girlie

W – It’s not your business.

S - I got a heart, don't I? I see someone unhappy. I got a heart.

W - Please...

S - As big as a...

W - Just please stop

S -a three ring circus. (He pounds his chest.)

(She looks to the Waiter. He apologizes with his body language and goes back to polishing the countertop)

S - Deeper than the deep blue sea.

W - I'd rather you didn't concern yourself

S - Concern myself

W - I'd rather you didn't

S - Concern myself with you? Alright...alright...look I apologize. I don't want to offend you ok? (beat) Ok?!!!

W - OK

S - Because, that aint my way ok?

W - Ok

(pause)

S - I'm not the kind of guy who likes to bother strange women. That aint my modus operandy.

(pause.)

S - But you know, you are a beautiful woman. You got the world on string and you don't even know it I bet.

W - (She has had enough) Look, when my guy gets here. It'd sure make me "happy" if he didnt see you making eyes at me. Alright?

S - Well excuse me to high hell sister. Don't worry. I don't make eyes at strange women.

(A moment passes. Her Man comes in through the back door. They all stop and turn to him. He looks at her. Once the Stranger finishes looking he turns back to his cup, Man walks in looking hard at gentleman until he passes behind her and sits next to Her)

S - Be careful buddy. She's waiting for someone

M - (To her) Who is this?

W - I don't know.

M - Well, maybe we could? (he points, indicates leaving)

W - Where are we going to go? (She indicates her wristwatch)

Waiter - (to Man) Coffee?

(Man nods. Gives the Stranger another glance.)

W - Just ignore him.

S - (Annoyed)What?!

M - (Also Annoyed) What?!

S - What? She is waiting for someone...

M - She's waiting for me.

(Stranger lifts his mug to toast)

S - Bully for you. (He leans and winks at Woman)

(Waiter gives Stranger a look saying "let them be" Stranger drunkly mocks him a little. Waiter puts his hands on his hips like he means it.)

S - Alright! Alright! (to Man) Buddy, ignore me alright? I'm a little (gestures drunk) I don't mean nothing. (Leans to look at W) Lady, I don’t mean nothing. (To Waiter) Look, I'm buttoning it up. (He pretends to button his lip and gestures for more coffee. Waiter puts coffee in front of the Man. Man leans in a for a moment to take in the aroma.)

W – I see you’re back on the coffee wagon

M – Yeah

W – How many is that for today?

M – Two

W – Two cups? Including this one?

M – Two pots

W – Ed?!!! They told you that wasn’t any good for your heart!

M – You can't bust a heart that’s already broken

(She stares at him for a beat, decides that what he said is too corn ball, and plays a little air violin for him. He smiles for a second, and then remembers that he isn’t supposed to be smiling. He reaches over and starts pouring sugar into his coffee, a lot of sugar. She watches him in an off put manner. He pours in cream up to the rim. He then tastes it carefully drinks down a half inch and pours in more cream. He then pushes the sugar toward her.)

W - I don’t use sugar

M - Oh

W - You know that

M – You right, I knew that.

W - If you know that I don’t use it, why even offer it to me?

M - Are we really going to have an argument about the sugar?!

W - I don’t want to argue at all

M – Me neither

(pause.)

M - Where are you staying

W - At a friend’s

M – Who with?

W - Mary

M - I should have figured

W - What does that mean

M - Nothing. I didn’t mean it the way it came out.

(The Waiter refills her water. He then goes back to cleaning the far countertop)

M -I miss you (beat, he waits) I said, I miss you

W - I hear you

M – Don’t you miss me?

W – (beat) I think…

(He stiffens, she notices)

W - Let me finish

M - Alright

W - I think so, sometimes.

M - Sometimes (he has a small unsatisfied chuckle in the back of throat. Pause, he tries to make peace with it) Tell me about … sometimes

W - When I see a couple, on the street or on the train.

M - UhHmm

W - Holding hands

(He puts his hand on the counter for her. He wiggles his fingers for her. She hesitates but then she touches her hand to his. He smiles.)

W - What about you?

M -I miss it all the time

W - No, no that's not good enough. You got be more specific

(pause.)

M – You know how when we started out, how I couldn’t stand the cuddling?

(She lets out a loud short laugh before she can catch herself. He stares straight ahead frustrated)
W - I'm sorry.

M - Nah

W - I shouldn't have done that. Go ahead.

M - Now that I cant have it...

W – (a little baby talk teasing voice) You want to cuddle?

M - Don't laugh

W - I'm not laughing

M - You are

W - No, this is smiling.

(pause. She pulls away a bit. Her hesitation about them returns.)

W - We try and try but we keep falling back, How? I can’t figure it.

M - I thought...I thought that you…

W - What?

M - Preferred the company of others

W - To you?

(He nods)

M - I thought you were not interested in spending time with me anymore

W - What gave you that idea?

M - You didn't used to need anyone else.

W - I am only with you, I've only ever been with you.

M - I feel like It is always a choice between me and who we fraternize with?

W - But Ed? You don't fraternize with anybody?

M - You can't dictate my friendships.

W - You can't dictate mine either

M - But if those friendships come before me?

W - You hate my friends that much?!

M - Not all of them

(She gives him a icy look. She starts shaking her head.)

W – We can keep each other company, but it seems we can never share anything anymore. (pause, holding back tear) I don't think I can do this.

M – Don’t say that

W – I can't keep putting up with this. I'm too old.

M – No you’re not

W – Yes I am, and so are you. Look (She puts her finger to his forehead) Wrinkles, stress lines, crows feet

M – More like crows boots (She smiles. She doesn't want to but she does. It almost makes her let lose her emotion. They look at each others face. She turns away first. He points to her face) Well look…that’s something we share.

(She hits him in the chest a couple times. He lets her. Her last blow rests on his chest and grabs his lapel. They want to kiss, but they don't)

M – I want you. I want you all to myself. I don’t need anyone else. Isn’t that enough? Can’t you tell me you want me too?

W – You're just lonely. We both are. But what happens in a few days when that loneliness goes away? We're back to square one.

(beat)

M – Come back? Come back with me tonight...(he gets weak) please.

(pause. Quiet…no waiter…no stranger…where did they go?)

W – Alright

M – And stay till morning. It’s not enough unless I can hold you till then

W – (hesitate looking at her fingernails) I’ll try... That is all I can say for now

(pause)

W – Is that enough?

(blackout)


*********************************************

Western Motel

“Western Motel” - Draft 1
Michael Brownlee

(AT RISE: A rather nice motel room, somewhere in the Northern Rockies. Lillian, 30’s, sits on the bed, lost in thought, looking out the large, picture window. There are a couple of suitcases next to the bed. After a moment, Harry, 30’s, enters with a couple of more suitcases and sets them down. He begins checking out the place.)

HARRY
(Walking around)
How about this place, huh? Not bad. Not bad at all. That fellow at the service station didn’t hang us out to dry, did he? No sir, he did all right. We’ve got a shower and a hot plate for coffee. Did you see the view out the bathroom window? That lake looks like it goes on for miles. What do you say we unpack these bags later and take a walk down to the water? I don’t know about you, but I could do with a stretch after all that driving.
(Beat)
Lil?

LILLIAN
I’m sorry, Harry, what were you saying?

HARRY
I said, how about a walk? The guy at the front desk said there’s a pier down there. Maybe we can watch the sun set over the lake? Assuming that’s West. I’m so turned around after driving those twisting roads, you could point to the moon and say it was West and I’d believe you.

LILLIAN
You go ahead. I think I’m going to lie down for a spell.

HARRY
Come on. We’ve been cooped up in that car all afternoon. This mountain air will do us a world of good.

LILLIAN
I just don’t feel like walking. But you go if you want.

HARRY
I thought the idea of this trip was for us to have some together time? How’s that going to happen if you’re in here and I’m out there? Besides, what if I run into some of the natural wildlife of the area? Who’s going to protect me if I run into a mountain lion or a rattlesnake?

LILLIAN
Just stick to the path and I’m sure you’ll be fine.

(Pause. Lillian goes back to staring out the window. Harry watches her.)

HARRY
How many pills did you take today? Lillian?

LILLIAN
What?

HARRY
How many did you –

LILLIAN
I haven’t taken any. Not today.

HARRY
You just seem a little quieter than usual. You all right?

LILLIAN
Just thinking is all.

HARRY
About?

(Lillian gives him a look.)

HARRY
Don’t give me that “you should know” look. I’m not a mind reader. You could be thinking of any number of things. You could be thinking about what lovely weekend we’re going to have. Or how nice it will be to rent a boat and be out on the water. Or that you’d like to find a nice Italian restaurant and get some spaghetti for dinner.

LILLIAN
I wasn’t thinking that.

HARRY
Well, why don’t you? I’m getting pretty hungry. We can ask the clerk if there’s –

LILLIAN
I was thinking that it was a mistake for us to come here.
(Beat)
Aren’t you glad you asked?

HARRY
Actually I am. It explains all the kicking and screaming as I forced you into the car.

LILLIAN
Harry, don’t –

HARRY
We’re here now, Lil. It’s a five hour drive back to civilization and it’s going to be dark before we even get out of the mountains. You going to drive? No, you don’t like to drive at night. And I don’t particularly want to turn right back around and get in that car again. So we’re here. At least for the night.
(Beat)
Listen, we’ll take a walk. Have a nice dinner. And then we can talk about it.

LILLIAN
I just feel guilty, is all.

(Harry sighs. This is a well trodden conversation.)

HARRY
Lillian, you have no reason to feel guilty.

LILLIAN
And yet I do.

HARRY
Lil, the whole point of coming up here was to get away from all that for a while.

LILLIAN
I’m sorry, Harry, I’m not like you, I can’t just turn it off because the scenery changes.

HARRY
Please, Lil, I need this. We need this. We haven’t had an evening to ourselves, a romantic evening, just you and me alone, since…

(Silence)

LILLIAN
Say it.

HARRY
I’m going for a walk. Would you like to come?

LILLIAN
You can’t run away from it, Harry. It’ll still be here when you get back.

HARRY
Damn it, Lil! I’m not running away! I just don’t want to –
(Calming himself)
You promised we weren’t going to talk about this. We came here to forget about it.

LILLIAN
We won’t ever be able to forget, Harry.

HARRY
Not forget forever, Lil. My god. Just for a couple of days. Clear our heads a little. Just long enough to feel human again.

LILLIAN
Instead of what?

HARRY
Instead of this! This constant reminder. He’s gone, Lil. I know that. You’re not the only one who lost a son, goddamn it. I shoveled dirt into his grave. Into my only son’s grave. But we’re not in there with him.

LILLIAN
Stop it, Harry!

HARRY
He was sick and he died and that’s tragic, but we’re still here, Lillian. We have got get past it.

LILLIAN
I wish it was me.

(Harry crosses over to her and grabs her, pulling her up.)

HARRY
Take it back! Take it back goddamn it! You’re still alive. Do you hear me? Start acting like it! We owe him that. We have to live for him! Use the life he couldn’t.

LILLIAN
(Struggling to get away from him.)
I don’t want to.

HARRY
Then live for me, Lillian. I’m still here! Do you understand? I’m still here and goddamnit I still love you.

LILLIAN
Harry, please.

HARRY
I still love you, Lil. I love you.

(Harry begins kissing her. Lillian is still trying to pull away. In the struggle, they wind up falling on the bed, with Harry on top of her. Harry begins to kiss her all over, but Lillian has stopped struggling and now just lies there. After a few moments Harry stops. He gets up.)

HARRY
I’m sorry, Lil. I’m sorry. I just…
(Pause)
I’m still alive, Lil. And I still love you. But if you’re not…If you’re not, then…

(Harry begins to weep, kneeling beside the bed. Lillian has not moved, lying with her eyes closed.)

Study of Office at Night (2nd draft)

(pause. M hands W a file.)

M - File this for me

V.O. - He is handing her a file.

W - Of course

V.O. - She takes the file. Her lips are slightly parted as if there were something tantalizing to the file. A manila folder that is only handled after the setting sun. She's got a hold of the folder. And she is holding his glance. He turns slowly forward seemingly aware of her taut gaze. His body is aligned with the desk, but his eyes are giving him away. He can't resist cornering them toward her. She still right at him like a pointer. His hands are on the desk surface palms down. She smiles. There is something victorious to the curve of her mouth, and Now she is turning toward the cabinet and now...opening the file cabinet.

(She has her backside to M)

W - Where do you want me to put it?
M - You have a history of putting the wrong file in the wrong place
W - Give me something. Tell where you want it. I'll get it in the right spot

V.O. - They're talking although it is hard to make out what they're saying.

W - Do you still have a Mrs?
M - A smear of legal lingo and that cleared right up
W - How good was your Mrs at getting everything in its proper place
M - What do want to know about my once upon a time Mrs? Huh? What does it matter?
W - You don't want to tell me? Fine. But you will entertain me.

(M taps vigorously on the desk surface.)


W - You'll entertain me if you want me to work late.

M - When you're done with that file, I'd like some refreshment.
W - What would you like
M - Some warm milk
W - Would you like in a tall glass? Would you like it in a cup?

(M bites his lower lip and closes his fists and starts rapping on the desk surface.)

W - I'm going to put this in where it belongs
M - Take you're time
W - It's done

(M's rapping grows in volume and rapidity until W finally slides the manila folder in the file cabinet. M stops his knocking suddenly. W closes the file cabinet. A quiver runs down her spine. Her arms shot down her sides.She snaps her fingers a few times.)

W - Easy...easy...

(She walks over to the other desk opposite M's)

V.O. - That sure is one hell of a set of pins. She got some cushion too. Beware the cushion. Perdition is lined with that kind of cushion.

M - Something crept up on you.
W - That's not important
M - You want to give in to it.
W - (to herself) It wont happen again.

M - (in a baby talk pout voice) I never got my milk.

W - I want you to stand up
M - (eager)Fine
W - Good, now stand in front of the cabinet
M - Alright
W - You should get comfortable
M - I could take off my jacket
W - Fine, but don't sling it on the back of your chair. Hang it. The late hour is no reason to abandon your manners.

(He does what she says.)

W - I want you to find the file I just filed.
M - What letter did you put under?
W - I'm not telling

(M kicks the side of the cabinet in mock frustration. Turns and gives W a big theatrical pout.)

W - Do it

(M give her a big theatrical sigh)

W - Do it or I quit.
M - This could be so easy
W - No
M - We could just put on our coats and go buy a couple of tickets and never come back
W - Once we did, It would spoil.
M - No

W - When you're alone in the dark. Whose name do call out?
M - Yours
W - How long would it stay that way, if I let you crash my gate?
M - I want to consummate.

(He goes to the desk and pulls out a drawer and slams it back over and over to punctuate the word he repeats again and again.)

M - Consummate!Consummate!Consummate!Consummate!
W - I know. I know you do.

V.O. - I know those two got some sort of sneak kink casting couch sort of party, but I cant never prove nothing. They never get each off unless they always got to talk each other off.

New York Movie (first draft)

(We see a female usher standing by the red curtain leading up to the cinema balcony. She is lost in thought, slightly frowning. She is the CITY SISTER. The conversation that follows is a recorded telephone conversation between her and her COUNTRY SISTER. The scene on the movie screen is almost exactly as narrated by CITY to COUNTRY.)

CITY
The storm gathers and the wind blows the door to his balcony wide open, catching the lampshade like a sail knocking it over. The rain drops speckle and then drench us. I looked at his eyes; his face now wet seemed handsomer than ever.
(She holds for a dramatic pause.)

COUNTRY
And then, did you kiss?

CITY
His tongue became a typewriter

COUNTRY
Oh my!

CITY
Every keystroke a quick kiss. Still he was gentle, even if amateur.

COUNTRY
Listen to you?!

CITY
What?

COUNTRY
Even if amateur? Would you prefer a professional?

CITY
A professional kisser…perhaps.

(They laugh)

CITY
Stop interrupting. So his amateur lips are moving across my face and my neck. The attention is intoxicating till I feel a little prick

COUNTRY
Stop right now!

CITY
No, no, no! It’s his teeth

COUNTRY
His teeth?

CITY
His is so lost in the passion, that he starts biting at me.

COUNTRY
That’s too much

CITY
You’d think so, but I have to confess…I liked it.

COUNTRY
No

CITY
Yes. I did. So know I can feel his teeth and his tongue and his hairy arms as if they were everywhere at once. He’s biting and begging and I’m blinded by the reflections of moonlight piercing the stormy night sky. Then he bites the buttons of my dress and…

COUNTRY
Tell me you didn’t

(CITY sister laughs)

COUNTRY
So you didn’t?

CITY
I wish I could have seen your face.

COUNTRY
(A touch upset now)I can never tell when your lying or telling the truth anymore

CITY
What do you mean ‘anymore’? You never could.

COUNTRY
Well, if you didn’t…then what did happen?

CITY
Nothing

COUNTRY
He didn’t try anything more forward?

(Pause in conversation. The Usherette moves toward the baroque wooden carved column and looks sadly and longingly at the movie screen.)

CITY
There wasn’t even a he?

COUNTRY
Wait? What?

CITY
There wasn’t a date

COUNTRY
You didn’t go out with the cinema owner’s son?

CITY
I don’t even know if the cinema owner has a son.

COUNTRY
But

CITY
Don’t be so gullible. It didn’t happen. None of it

COUNTRY
It was so detailed. It sounded so…

CITY
I stole it

COUNTRY
It was a lie

CITY
Not a lie. I stole it. It happened to Jane Greer in last week’s picture

COUNTRY
Sis! I want to know what is happened, what is really happening

CITY
Really, really truly?

COUNTRY
We’re all worried. Aren’t you seeing anyone? Anyone at all?

CITY
Sure. Last week I was out with Robert Mitchum every night. The week before that I was painting the town red with Dick Powell, and then it was George Raft…

COUNTRY
When are you going to abandon these ridiculous fantasies?

CITY
Sis…

COUNTRY
There are plenty of boy’s left here. If you came home there’d be ample time to meet someone and fall in love

CITY
Love? A man isn’t always the answer.

COUNTRY
That’s just more fantasy talk. Sis…come home

CITY
I am home

COUNTRY
No! You know what I mean

CITY
I’m happier here OK? I know you can’t believe that, but I’m happier here!

COUNTRY
When are you going to realize? Too late? After you’ve lost your looks and hit rock bottom?

CITY
Come on! What do you know about rock bottom? Trust me, this this isn’t rock bottom. It’s no where near rock bottom

COUNTRY
I lose so much sleep worrying about you alone up there. No family, no one to protect you. We hear stories about single girls in the big cities. Horror stories

CITY
That’s ridiculous. I should come home to avoid the horror stories? If you think your world is any less horrible than mine, you need to grow up! Open your eyes!

COUNTRY
I think you’ve lost hope.

CITY
I haven’t lost all hope. I’ve just brought self delusion to a near stand still.

COUNTRY
I just don’t want all those terrible things to happen to you

(On the movie screen, we see Bela Lugosi stalk his prey. The usherette moves away from the screen back to her original position by the red curtain.)

CITY
Everything terrible you’ve ever thought up or saw or read in the paper…eventually everything terrible happens to you. To everyone. You’ll know loneliness. You’ll know hunger. If the Indian doesn’t tear off your scalp, eventually the worms and the alley rats will.

COUNTRY
That’s it?

CITY
Yes. Sometimes lonely. Sometimes bored. Except every other Friday night.

COUNTRY
A new picture?

CITY
Yes. Till then it’s avoidance, anxiety, fear…but in the movie house we are all looking at the same thing. That gives me…something

COUNTRY
Comfort?

CITY
Maybe. I don’t know.

(Something stirs behind the red curtain. The usherette goes and looks up the step toward the balcony. There she sees the image of Bela again. The silhouette of a huge fat man in a suit steps into the image and obstructs the view of Bela. The man puffs on his cigar looking down at the usherette. The man unbuttons his vest. He rubs his belly and then slaps his belly. He drops his cigar which rolls down to the bottom of the steps where the usherette stands. He looks down at the cigar. She bends over to pick it and looks back at the silhouette of the fat man who folds him arms at the top of the stairs…waiting.)

Sunday

I like this picture...I'm just putting up some skecthy ideas. Not fleshed out entire. Just to see how it looks in type...Also, I don;t know what other people think, but I'm using the tags to highlight ideas, themes, images, etc about my scripts so as to view by tag later. Might be interesting a couple months down the road to see how many of us wrote scenes about "family","loneliness","nudity"...just a couple of thoughts. Enjoy!

Sunday by Bob Fisher (first draft)

Characters
Man Holding his Arm
Police Officer
Woman
Another Women (Man’s Wife)


________________________________________________

(Sunday morning. The streets seem empty. Maybe most the town is off to church. Man is sitting on the curb. He is rocking slowly back and forth, holding his Arm. He is visably agitated. A Police Office slowly lumbers over, familiar and a little hesitant.)

Police Officer –
Morning

Man Holding Arm-
Morning

Police Officer (points at Man’s Arm and then up to a window above them on the other side of the street.)
-I got a call

Man Holding Arm -
Yeah

(pause. Man is silent, seething, maybe to angry to speak)

P.O. – (clears throat)
So, I got another call this morning

M.H.A -
She took a shot at me!

P.O. -
Let me see that

(Police Officer examines Man's arm.)

It is not even scratched.

M.H.A.
It was one of those air rifles for kids.

P.O.
How do you know that?

M.H.A
(reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out pellet ammo. He hands it to Police Officer)
Here...the roof's riddled with them.

P.O.
That doesn't make sense. Why’d she do that?

M.H.A.
She doesn't want me on the roof!

P.O.
Yeah?

M.H.A
She thinks if she pops off all my birds. I'll have no reason to be up there.


P.O.
No more alibi

M.H.A.
You believe her?

P.O.
Nah! It seems silly enough

M.H.A.
(holding up his arm)
It’s getting less silly but the minute! Why don;t she just pull the shade closed anyway

(From up above)

Woman-
I shouldn't have to pull my shades closed. I'm on the top floor. I should be able to let the sunlight tan me from my winder without old sots looking over my flesh

M.H.A.
No one's looking at yer flesh anyhow. That's the problem ain't it!

(Pellet gun ricochets off the sidewalk)

P.O.
Nell, Stop shooting that popper! You're going to put out some one's eye!!!

Woman -
Well, I ought ta. Maybe then I can live in peace. Maybe then I can get an even tan without worrying about some would be rapists egging his self on while quote unquote fiddling with his birds!

M.H.A.
What do you know? Aint I allow to have my pets? Selfish old bat!
I got some dirty words for ya!

P.O.
Don't please don't egg her on.

M.H.A
If I could aim em right at ya!!! But, I don't want the whole world to hear!

Woman
Ha! Let's hear them dirty words.

M.H.A.
Oh you'd like that wouldn't ya. You'd like me to stand out here in the middle of the street for all creation to bespot my character shouting obscenities up to yer window.

(She fires again.)

M.H.A.
(to Police Officer)
How many times does she have to discharge that remington till you get up those stairs and do something about it?

P.O.
What am I going to do? Huh? Lock up an eighty year old woman?

M.H.A.
I think a night or two in the pokey might file down that temper of hers

P.O.
If she didn't have that bb gun, she'd be showering us right now with worse.

Woman
Don't think it ain't kept that opinion. Timmmmmberrrr!!!!!!!

(They both duck. A chamber pot lands between the men.)

P.O.
Thank god it was empty.


Woman
I want those birds gone. Those bird cover more feces in a hour than a dozen of my chamber pots could!

(She starts shooting. We hear bird wings flapping incessantly.)

P.O.
Nell, why don't you stop. Don't make me come up there.

(Another Woman's voice from up above.)

A.W.
Tommy!!!Tommy!!!Get inside! Don’t let her murder ya!

M.H.A.
It is not enough she doesn’t want me on my own roof. I'm not letting her chase me off a public street as well.

A.W.
Nell! Stop it stop shooting!

Woman
I wouldn't be shooting up the town, if you could control your man!

A.W.
Tell me about my man!? He's up there feeding the birds. He aint checking you out!

Woman
You don’t know nothing. Of course, you’re back his play. You don’t want em to lock yer devil man up! They got eyes those devils. They're peepers. I tell ya. There all peepers.

A.W.
The last time somebody peeped you, I was a glint in my father's eye.

Woman
What!? What?!!! Say that again! Say again only this time come closer to your window!

A.W.
You're not a woman

Woman
Come closer...closer closer to the potted plants dear!. I want your peeper husband to see when I shoot fillings out from between your teeth.

A.W.
You're not a woman! You're a cow!

M.H.A. (to P.O)
You got to do something about it. Or I'll do it!

P.O.
Don't forget who's the law around here.



M.H.A.
You got one of three options here, Mr.Law. You take her to jail. You take me to jail. Or you shoot me dead for walking up those stairs and killing an old woman.

A.W.
You rolling around on your back showing off your utters, but nobody cares. That's why you're in an uproar. Because nobody cares about your naked flesh. You got nothing I couldn't see at a butcher's shop.

Woman
Look at these! Look at these! You mean to tell me you'd call these utters?!

P.O.
Oh no! She's going to jump!

M.H.A.
I can only hope!...(takes a good look. Aside) Damn! I didn’t know they grew hair like that.

(Police Officer darts into Woman's apartment building. BB gun fire.)

M.H.A.
Ginny! Get on the roof!

A.W.
She's still got the rifle, Tom!

M.H.A.
Cover my birds. She'll murder em all!

(bb gun fire. Dead pigeons start falling to the street.)

M.H.A.
Oh no!! Oh no!!! Bird Murderer!

A.W.
It's not your birds, Tommy!

M.H.A.
Go Ginny! Please! I’ll draw her fire, but get to the roof please!

Woman
How are you going to draw my fire? I shoot what I want! I want those caged plagues killed!

M.H.A.
Damn woman…cover yer….cover yer…cover yer hair!!!!